Life in the middle of the cyclone

So...I'm guessing most of you have heard that Cael has accepted the head coaching position at Penn State University. This has caused a incredible stir (some have called it a "meltdown") here at ISU. I just wanted to share some of my own thoughts about this....

First of all, I would like to recognize how incredibly blessed we are to have had the opportunity to be a part of TWO fantastic schools with great wrestling programs. Especially during our economic times. I am grateful and I try to remember that fact as we continue to deal with the situation (or fallout) that has resulted from the decision...

I would also like to recognize that, as an ISU grad, I have loved most of my 10 years in Ames. I love the location, how safe I feel here, and, until very recently, the kindness of the fans (and the people of Iowa) towards Cael and his efforts as an athlete and a coach. I absolutely feel at home here.

That said, I am wheeling a bit from the enormous uproar over Cael's departure. I absolutely understand people being angry and upset by his decision and we both expected it to happen. And I'd like to note that we made this decision with eyes wide open, we expected a backlash, and we are not in any way, shape, or form victims.

However, this situation is certainly an interesting study in human behavior.

Today, a lady that I have met about two times at a pharmacy in town, came to my house and handed me two plastic bags full of Iowa State Wrestling t-shirts, along with a few ripped up posters from this past wrestling season. She said simply, "I won't be needing these anymore," handed me the bags, and walked off. I was so surprised that I didn't say anything and just closed the door.

Then, stupid me, I opened my laptop and looked at one of the Cyclone forums. On one 17 page thread about the situation, I read 10 pages and found maybe 2 entries that weren't full of venom and hatred. Some pretty examples include: expletive Cael expletive expletive, Cael is not a Cyclone, we hate him and his legacy at ISU is erased and ruined, Penn State is the new Iowa, we will actively root against them everytime they step on the mat with Cael at the helm; sellout can take his money and get out.

(Note: The rumor mill had it that Cael was offered a 2.5 million contract for 5 years. Seriously people, be real. This is wrestling and that is RIDICULOUS. And to think that money is what drives Cael is an indicator of how little they really know him.)

When I read these comments they took my breath away, it really hurt. Everything Cael had done at our alma mater was now tarnished, ruined. And while I expected people to hurt and be upset, I didn't expect it to be pure vitriol.

I mean seriously, people, this is a business is it not? In my (short) business experience, people move all the time, whether it is a promotion or a lateral move. It's life. Things change. No one owns you or your future and you have the freedom to make your own path, good or bad and deal with it.

So it is crazy to me that so many people had such horrible things to say...I mean, put your opinions, thoughts, feelings of disappointment out there. Make yourself heard. But the expletives? The incredibly ill wishes? Dropping your shirts off at our house? And mostly...hating someone who had an incredible career, represented our school with dignity and brought much needed attention to the sport of wrestling?? Come on. Let's have a little perspective here.

On a funny note, I think we are darned if we do and darned if we don't. ISU wrestling fans send emails to our coaching staff throughout the year expressing their displeasure with our coaching and team performance. I understand and expect that criticism is part of the job as a coach anywhere and in any sport. ISU fans have high expectations, which is great. It is just amusing that the same people who condemn Cael as the ISU coach are most likely the same people condemning him for leaving.

I am learning the hard way that you can't please everybody, and not everyone is going to like you. In fact, some people will just plain hate your guts!! ha ha ha. :) And on a more positive note, you also realize the people who really care for you. I have received phone calls and encouraging messages from people who mean a lot to me. Thanks guys, love you too!

I am so sorry if I am whining, I don't mean to. I just find it frustrating that everyone else has had an opportunity to spout off and I haven't. And, as an Iowa State alumni and Cael's wife, I feel I am entitled (oooh, liberal wording, scary) to express my feelings on the situation as well. And at least I am doing it on my blog and not hiding behind a screen name.

To end my blathering, I'd like to state that I will still always root for Iowa State and remember my time here fondly, disliked as we are. It won't harden me and destroy my views on life. As my father-in-law recently stated (and as I have repeated many times thereafter): We're not here on earth to see how we deal with the great times and easy aspects of life. We're here to see how we deal with the trying times, the times of conflict and of pain.

Big picture, people. Big picture.